Bank Holiday Monday. Except for viewers in Scotland.

You know what was great on Sunday? Reading so much about what people were going to do with their Monday off. Nothing stokes up the Sunday Blues like the green eyed monster. Sunday nights are shite (unless you’re a hairdresser or a student), but you deal with them. You have to. An acceptance that most other folk are dealing with the same nonsense gives it a “we’re all in this together” vibe and we muddle through. When that status is shattered though, all bets are off, it’s everyone for themselves.

A Bank Holiday in August would be a waste for us anyway. The weans are just back at school, the weather would be invariably shite and the transfer window isn’t going to get exciting on Monday. Alright, it’s not going to get exciting on Wednesday either but Sky and Twitter will make out its a big thing.

Maybe that should be a Holiday up here, National Jim White Day. The Patron Saint of making the most out of no talent…you can see why that makes him a “Legend” in Glasgow and Scotland.
It is scary how much he’s a part of the whole rigmarole of this nonsense. He’s come an awful long way from the mullets and paper thin moustache.

Jim White

He’s so linked to the transfer window, they’ll roll him out every year, every window. Eventually, the excitement will do him in. By that time players will be selling for £1bn and Sky will deploy strippers to work alongside their football anchors. It’ll look as though Jim was playing for laughs, keeling over in shock at the Darlington reserve keeper’s shock move to Arsenal but as he gasps for breath, the floor manager will eventually realise something is wrong and he’ll bark out his orders. “Keep the cameras rolling, this is TV gold.

The footballing world will pay their respects with a minutes applause in the next round of matches and Nike will release commemorative yellow ties. Idiots will buy them in their droves because nothing says respect like #bantz.

But that’s all for further down the line…nothing that exiting is going to happen this week or this Monday.

Of course, it’s not really a Bank Holiday up here but don’t waste your time going along to your local branch, it’ll be shut. Of course it is, we get to enjoy the inconvenience of a Bank Holiday without any of the fun stuff….still, at least our sense of dread and fear as we go to bed tonight will be the standard for a Monday night…coming off the back of a 3 day binge is rarely fun.